What grails will you pursue this year?
Life is messy. Work is messy. Somehow, those two messy things are supposed to blend together and result in something balanced. It seems a little silly. Life and work do not compute the same way as positive and negative numbers. A negative times a negative may result in a positive, but messy life times messy work does not result in a cancellation of “messy.” It simply results in people dealing with the mess in the best way that they can. They shift things in order to deal with life or work. They decide which things are more important. They spend time on those things and let the other things fall as they may. They know they will address those things when they have the time and means to address them.
The Holy Grail Doesn’t Exist
People seek the work-life balance as though it represents the Holy Grail. They believe it exists and spend time trying to find it. In trying to find it, they neglect other things. They try so hard to balance the equation that they lose sight of the more important things, whether those things correspond to the personal or professional areas of life. The truth: the Holy Grail of a work-life balance doesn’t exist. Work and life are simply too messy to balance each other out. Something has to, and will, give.
Your Holy Grail is Your Holy Grail
Although the Holy Grail of a work-life balance may not exist, other grails do. Those grails vary from person to person. For one, maybe it’s being at home every night to tuck a child into bed and to read him or her Good Night, Moon. Perhaps it’s taking the time to go to the gym three times per week and to train for an upcoming marathon. For another person, maybe a job promotion represents his or her grail. Some people see landing a new client as their grail or reaching some other business goal. Maybe the goal blends the personal and professional, such as paying off a student loan or credit card debt.
You Have to Seek Your Holy Grail on Your Terms
Just as people have different grails, they have different means of finding them. In Monty Python and the Holy Grail, King Arthur and his knights seek the grail on foot, albeit accompanied by the sound of hoofbeats due to the servants who bang coconut shells together. More “realistic” depictions of that search, such as Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, portray the actors using technology and various modes of transportation.
The same thing occurs in real life. A person who decides the grail is a person or people might shut down the computer at a certain time every day and address few business concerns on the weekends. The person who aims to gain a new client may spend his or her free time researching that client in order to write the perfect pitch. He or she might attend additional networking events. That person might invest more time in social media or other avenues in order to increase his or her business’ exposure.
The Holy Grail is Elusive
It would seem that a personal grail would be easier to find, but it’s not. People aren’t easily satisfied. Even if they do find their grails, they sometimes discover that they have to seek other ones. Some grails have a way of growing too quickly or souring. It’s important to look forward to new quests and finding new grails in much the same way that Indiana Jones looked forward to future adventures.
What grails will you pursue this year? Will you forget about the Holy Grail of work-life balance in order to pursue real grails?
About Erin Feldman
I believe there is no work-life balance anymore with the 24/7 tech world we live in. We just manage priorities throughout the day as we see fit. It used to be when you walked out the door of work it was shut. It now stays open 24/7 with technology. Same with home life, you can walk away but with technology you are always connected.
Most of the time I believe it’s a good thing but every once in a while if you disconnect it can be liberating!
Great point that the holy grail is on your own terms – you set them up yourself.
I will forget the balance and not drive myself crazy with it and continue to strive to do my best in all areas.
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That’s it exactly – forgetting about the unrealistic, nonexistent work-life balance in order to focus on what really matters.
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Personally, I don’t think there ever was the mystical work-life balance — even before the tech explosion — at least not in the way people tend to think of it today. It’s always been about prioritizing what’s important — the real things, the things that truly matter — and putting the others on the back burner.
Usually I’m really great at it. I’d like to think most of the time I am. Other times, I need to re-center myself and my thinking to focus on the things that truly bring me ultimate joy — my husband and my children.
I would like to know the origins of the myth. I’ve never thought there was a work-life balance, at least not in the sense that the two eventually balance each other. As you say, it’s about priorities.
Erin Feldman recently posted..I Have to Stop being My Own Worst Enemy
I think work-life balance is like a lot of other things: people spend time obsessing about whether they are doing it right, when they could achieve it if they quit obsessing.
It is possible to feel that you are devoting the right amount of time and energy to your work and to the other facets of your life. And that is what work-life balance is–being happy with what you do during your work hours and outside of them
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Haha! You’re right. We spend an inordinate amount of time worrying that we’re doing things right rather than just doing what’s right. We could accomplish a lot more if we were to get busy doing things instead of worrying about those things. We’d be a lot more content, too.
Erin Feldman recently posted..I Have to Stop being My Own Worst Enemy